21 January 2015

Don't Fake it 'till you Make it

I dunno about you, but whenever I'm waiting for an interview or in my case, any vaguely stressful confrontational situation, I just hate feeling the anxiety and powerlessness.  Like, it sucks.  Big time.  How good would it be if we could just like, sit differently or stand differently and then go into that stressful situation feeling powerful and leaving with the outcome we want.  Sounds good.  Maybe even too good.. But, I may just have the answer you are looking for...


Last Tuesday I dragged myself out of bed at the crack of dawn, for that bloody 9am lecture that, every uni student dreads.  Yes I was sitting there, eyelids heavier than lead.  I have never in my life fallen asleep in school or uni before, but that could have been the day, I swear.  Anyways, I learnt something amazing that I really want to share with anyone that bothers to read this post.  It's all about body language - not how our body language makes others think and feel towards us, but how it can make us think and feel differently about ourselves.

I'm gonna get all scientific on y'all now.  Being happy leads to us smiling, but it also works the other way round - forcing ourselves to smile makes us feel happier.  In a nutshell, our facial expressions contribute to what emotion we are feeling, just as much as that emotion contributes to what's happening on our faces.

It works the same way with body language - we open ourselves up when we feel dominant and powerful - our testosterone (dominance hormone) is high, and our cortisol (stress hormone) is low.  When we feel insecure and unsafe are cortisol levels are high and our testosterone is low - we close our bodies up.

This is were the 'Power Poses' come into play.  Power poses are all kinds of amazing - just sit or stand with your body opened up, and even after just two minutes your testosterone will shoot straight up, and that nasty little stress hormone will be pushed way way down.

Power Pose - Opening Body Up With Arms In The Air

Okay, they do look a little silly, I'll admit that.  Pop to the toilets while your waiting for you job interview and sneakily Power Pose in secret.  Those other candidates sat there with their bodies all closed up, looking at their phones, reciting their answers in their head, raising their cortisol and dropping their testosterone - they ain't gonna stand a chance against you.

Power Pose before any situation where you might be scrutinized or judged, or you just wanna feel powerful.  Just two minutes!

Power Pose - Opening Body Up With Hand On Waist

But, this all feels fake right?  Just fake it!  Fake who you want to be in that interview, fake who you want to come off as to that person you're so scared to talk to, fake being powerful and confident, fake it, fake it, fake it.  And don't just fake it till you make it.  Fake it until you become it - because you will.

I would really recommend giving this video a watch.  I've pretty much written out the main message Amy Cuddy is trying to get across, but it's such a powerful video and she probably explains everything much better than I have - watch it till the end, you won't be disappointed!










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75 comments

  1. You look so cute in those photos! I love it :) x
    ----
    http://breakfastataris.blogspot.com

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  2. I did my undergrad in psych too and we definitely learned this! I always call them the "Superman poses". Whether or not they actually work, I always do them but usually just end up laughing at myself. But that's a good way to loosen up and relax a bit too!

    xx Kathryn
    http://www.throughthethicket.ca

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  3. Alice, what an interesting post! I agree that body language plays an important role in our lives and it is a big influence on our moods! I'll definitely try those poses, I feel like I could need more confidence xxx

    Crissy | My Cup Of Tea

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  4. OMG, your dress is perfect! I love it! <3
    Thanks for your comment on my blog!

    http://www.caterina-m.blogspot.com

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  5. Really interesting post. People should not underestimate body language

    Jennifer Jayne
    jenniferjayne.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. never heard of power poses, but it is so simple and logically at the same time.:D
    Great idea!

    www.morestylethanfashion.com

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  7. I saw this video last year I think! It was so helpful, whenever I feel like I'm loosing my mojo, I sit in my room and just smile for half an hour with my arms spread across a desk.. weird but it really helps! It makes me feel so much more positive afterwards!

    http://thelittlebluesailboat.blogspot.co.uk/

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  8. This is such an interesting post I love the whole idea of it all! x

    jobrlw.blogspto.com x

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  9. I found this post so interesting as I know how much body language can affect someones opinion of you!

    infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

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  10. I love the message in this post, haven't watched that video before but I will later :)

    Rebecca Coco

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  11. Such a great and helpful post! I have to give a speech next Thursday and I shall definitely try this! xx

    ratherstrangeblog.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Update: just watched the Ted Talk and it was insanely good!!! Thanks so so much for sharing, was JUST what I needed ^_^ !!!

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  12. Love this... I definitely think a lot of us close up when we are waiting for an interview, or waiting to read a speech in front of the class. Loosening up and doing some fun poses like this could really help. Thanks for sharing!! :)

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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  13. I love this idea! I haven't got an interview but I think I may just do some power poses for the sake of it, nothing wrong with a random power pose I say! Xx

    MissyRed.co.uk

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  14. Thanks for this advice! Will definitely try these tips next time I'm in a stressful position! I've heard about the smiling thing before, and that works!

    xbeccabe.blogspot.co.uk

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  15. Fab post!! :)

    http://amyscornerblog.blogspot.co.uk

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  16. I love power poses! Crossing your arms behind your head is another good one.

    Erin | Erin and Katherine Talk Beauty

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  17. lovely post!!

    xx

    isa

    www.un-likely.com

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  18. This is so important, thank you! Definitely going to use this technique in future stressful situations or times when I may not be feeling quite as confident as I should! xo

    LJLV | UK Personal Style

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  19. Very important message. I think this is so good to read if you get stressed easily ☺

    www.elevatorbrain.blogspot.com

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  20. Love this post, all such great advice and so simple but often forgotten when stress takes over.

    Jane x | Queen Jane Approximately

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  21. I watched this video awhile ago and really liked it! I think it is so true. I also was reading today that the more you force yourself to smile, you will be happier which is so true. So interesting! I guess we really are hardwired. I used to hate those 9am lectures too, think I managed to stay awake in all of them! I actually fell asleep on the tube the other day, I thought that was quite impressive! xx

    Jasmin Charlotte | UK Lifestyle Blog

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  22. As I was reading this, I started noticing my own body language...and it wasn't good! HAHA. I was hunched over my laptop, frowning, chin in hands, practically doubled over. And I wonder why I'm so timid and stressed all the time, lol. I've never tried doing power poses but definitely will now. It's the kind of thing you really don't want to do because it feels so unnatural until you're almost finished, haha xx

    The Persephone Complex / House Of Fraser Giveaway

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  23. This is exactly what I needed right now! I have a Uni interview a week today and so I'm definitely going to smile and try to keep an open looking body language!
    Jodie // La Lune Song

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  24. This is so awesome! And it's kind of similar to something I do: give myself a pep talk in the mirror.

    COOCOO FOR COCO

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  25. oh yes the prep talks are must! you look so cute on this photos!

    Lyosha
    Inside and Outside Blog

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  26. I love this post! I have problems with anxiety so I'll definitely be giving this a go x

    makeupmusicandfashion.blogspot.co.uk

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  27. How fun//unique!!

    xx, wendy from collegecheese.com

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  28. That sounds absolutely fabulous and a great way to break my nerves when I actualy need to interview for full time scary jobs! xxx

    Blonde Of Carbs


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  29. This is so inspiring, definitely going to have to try out power poses! ♥
    Amy xx

    Perfect Imperfections

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  30. Cute post, definitely very motivating!

    xx E∆
    LietoDie

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  31. I love the post!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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  32. I feel your pain. My first semester at University, I had a class at 7:45 in the morning. It sucked having to drag myself out of bed while my roommates were still sleeping. My University also requires us to wear business casual to class so I actually had to make myself look presentable. No sweatpants or jeans and hoodies were allowed!

    Kiersten | KiwiCat

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  33. I actually really like this idea. That these poses create a sense of power or control. I definitely had to take ten minutes before I walked into my interview to get my head straight, I won't lie. Thanks for visiting my blog :)

    Elleosophy

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  34. such an interesting read- you look super cute too!
    Elle.x

    ohhmyelle.blogspot.co.uk

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  35. I agree so much with you on the fake it til you make it.. It actually helped me so much to gain confidence. I love your outfit so much and your hair style, so cool :D

    www.pinkdemure.blogspot.com

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  36. I can't believe I happened upon this the day of my interview! Is that fate or what? I've actually watched that Ted talk before but it's been great to be reminded of it today! Thanks so much for sharing this, I think you explained it really well and I love the poses you photographed!

    Claire // Technicolour Dreamer // Bloglovin'

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  37. Love this dress!!! Amazing ;)
    Kisses from Spain.
    Xoxo, P.

    My Showroom

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  38. Very interesting to read.. Love the photos!

    XX www.laurenlouvaine.com

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  39. I should probably do some "Power Poses" to make my blog pictures as lively as yours. You look pretty and i love that fur dress you're wearing :)

    xoxo,
    SHAIRA
    http://www.missdream-girl.blogspot.com

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  40. Like it :)

    aparkaforyourthoughts.blogspot.com

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  41. Great advice! I need to start whipping some power poses out I think

    Beth Bdazzles

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  42. So interesting, but when I think about it, there is so much truth to it! Great advice!

    Brooke
    pumps and push-ups

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  43. Well I have never heard of this before, I will try this out in the future, like above I guess this does actually make sense.

    Meme xx
    http://thedayinthelifeofmexoxo.blogspot.co.uk/

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  44. So true! I totally blagged my way through my job interview and acted really confidently, totally smashed it! Other times I get anxious and nervous and indulge it by giving in, I fail miserably at things! Love the poses!

    Lucy x
    Yellowicing@blogspot.co.uk

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  45. This was such an intresting post and thank you so much! I struggle with really bad anxiety but I should try the 'power pose' out! Great post, xx

    Beyond the Velvet | Fashion, Beauty and Lifestyle blog

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  46. This is such a great post!I always try to have powerful thoughts before an interview!
    xo, Anastasia

    www.natbeesfashion.blogspot.co.uk

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  47. Fun post! I personally always try to keep the positive, powerful thoughts and energy flowing before an interview or maybe a not-so-fun confrontation.

    <3

    ican'taffordmylifestyle

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  48. Such a pretty look. ^^
    New post is online...

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  49. Hi Alice, this post is really helpful and I love how you project yourself in front of the camera.

    http://hazelasoy.blogspot.com/

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  50. This is an interesting post and absolutely agree with your point (: x

    www.birdieliau.com

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  51. I've read some stuff like this before, glad to know from a uni-certified class it's definitely true! Love the jumper you're wearing btw!

    99 OUTFITS | LOOKBOOK | INSTAGRAM | BLOGLOVIN' | TWITTER | CHICTOPIA

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  52. This is such an inspirational post// love this idea
    clandestine-v.blogspot.com.au

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  53. Really, really enjoyed reading this post, Alice! So inspiring! Thank you!

    xx Emma, www.ouvrirlabouche.com

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  54. noted! let's fake it til we make it :) really great tip!

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